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Fragile yet free

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“Sometimes the thing that breaks you open is the very thing that sets you free.” You experience a strange kind of freedom when life breaks you open completely. There’s nothing left to lose, no one left to blame, and only the silence that follows when everything that could go wrong… goes wrong. It’s mortifying. On the surface, it feels like the ground beneath you no longer exists. No, you don’t levitate. Instead, the insides of your heart lie bare while you try to figure out what piece goes where, all while drenched in tears. I’m sure I’ve painted a pretty vulnerable picture here. Have you ever felt this before? Has this happened to you? If yes, how did you pick yourself up? If not, I’m glad.  In moments like this, you become so fragile that you either go quiet or you won’t stop talking about it. But if you’re present enough to notice, something begins to shift inside you. A silent yet significant shift that says, “Enough is enough.” Not out of spite, but out of sorrow and acceptanc...
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Love and other bugs

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  LOVE Rosy, fluttering, safe, beautiful, romantic, warm, nurturing, cared for, lovely, enlightening, bright, deep, profound, weird, empowering, elevating, ecstatic, enigmatic, divine, enough, dependent, friendship, passionate, overwhelming, confusing, cringe, subtle, loud, quiet, unpredictable, responsible, aggressive, taken for granted, gentle, excruciating, unnoticed, hidden, open, clear, doubtful, unsolicited, painful, clueless, nonnegotiable, angry, forced, failed, waiting, given up, hopeful, choiceless… and a lot more. How foolish of us to expect it to be a certain way when everything is an act of love. Actually, I disagree with the previous sentence. Everything is not an act of love; it’s also the lack of it. But everything revolves around the idea of love. No? However, we are exploring the non-logic part of it. When someone asks you why you love someone, what’s your answer? Because this person checks certain boxes? Because his or her qualities match yours? Or the typical so...
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Larger than self

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Larger than I One must be beyond blessed to feel things deeply and move accordingly. It’s a luxury in a world where everything is practiced in moderation.  It takes skill to calculate and move -  a very kaliyuga-coded skill. After all, how does one navigate if everything moves them? Lost in motion, consumed by dominant energies. It is a useful skill. But this write-up isn’t about that. It’s about the people who lack it. Artists. By “artists,” I don’t mean only those who draw or paint. Being an artist is a mindset. An engineer is an artist. A businessman is an artist. It’s about how you shape your life and contribute to the world through it. So what does it feel like to be one? Everything. Everything feels heightened. What a bittersweet gift it is to be sensitive. Carrying imprints. Trying to transmute pain, anger, and love. Why can’t we just act nonchalant? “Because, my friend,” said a wise old man sitting on the banks of the Ganga, “being nonchalant comes with a cost....
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Dainty desire - Death

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Death , you sly thing. You wear this veil of illusion pretending you are the ultimate end. How cruel of you to make humans drool. For you are not the end but the beginning. For good and bad. However, you escape through the gaps of fingers who truly want you and hold close the ones who run away from you. In both cases, You hold power. And who gives them? Us, humans, naive and "mindful" people. Within the reach of hands when needed but hardly the courage in heart. Hope disguised as lack of courage. A sliver of hope. Hope, deadlier than death itself buried deep into souls. Always looking forward, always hoping. A calling perhaps? A guidance perhaps? Who are we to realize? Mere souls tied up in karma. The true question is...did we consent to this? Is this some sophisticated squid game? What's our origin and why are we so aware? 3am questions emerging way earlier than promised.  Design is so goated that the number of answers exceed the number of questions. Are we forgetting ...
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Halahala and Generational curse

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Do you know what Halahala is? It's the poison that shiva drank which came out of samudhra manthana. Now, who in their sane mind drinks poison? Nobody. That's why shiva drank it. Because he cannot be defined. Adjectives are not for him. He is formless and full of form. The contradictions of contradictions. He drank it so he could protect the world from the danger. And his ardhangini, parvathi devi, pressed his throat to avoid the poison spreading to his entire body. It remained there. In his throat. But what happens to that poison? Does it remain there forever? It does..but as a medium of constant metamorphosis. His every word is the ultimate truth. Constantly aligned with the panchabhootas. I can go on about shiva forever. But that's not why I'm writing this. We are all a part of him. We have his attributes. Every struggle, every pain we go through is an opportunity to evoke his energy within us. The " Generational curse " we talk about often these days is li...
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Surrender. Hope or helplessness?

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So...what is this fuss about surrendering to the unknown? Sounds a bit extreme, no? I mean, think about what it takes to surrender? EVERYTHING, actually. The tricky part about surrendering is the concealed tests you have to deal with. But that's also about the beauty with which it unfolds your shortcomings and nudges you to correct it and align. How cleverly designed. So many brownie points to our creator. "It takes guts of steel to surrender to your goal and detach from the result" - Sai Tejaswini So, how do you truly surrender? It's a chaotic journey and not for the weak. There, I said it. When you surrender from a source of selflessness, detachment and purity, you develop trust within yourself. That trust you've built for yourself helps you get rid of beliefs and limitations that's stopping you from reaching where you want to be. Everybody knows what happens when you are unstoppable...."You WINNN, brother, you WINNN!"  Sounds soooo good on paper. ...
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How to find your tribe?

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No, you can't. The tribe finds you when the time is right. You might constantly feel like you don't fit in. It might be excruciating to feel like you don't belong anywhere. Good. Feel it. With your entire being. Sit with the pain until you begin to believe that you were not meant to fit in but stand out.  We often mistake a sense of belonging to fitting in. There is a mammoth level difference between the two. When you belong somewhere, you feel comfortable, your soul is calm, you become your best self and thrive. But when you try to fit in, you unintentionally dim your light, constantly watch what you say, gradually lose individuality and ultimately stop paying attention to your inner voice. You see, even though we are here to fulfill our purpose and merge with the one ultimately, our purposes are different. The purpose demands your best self. A self that's empowering from within and grounded. Nah, I'm not gonna tell you how to achieve that. You will find your path ...
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